Hello! It’s been a while – again. I said I wanted to use this blog more and well, I failed. But in my defense, I’ve been busy. Chief among things keeping me busy was growing and then birthing this baby girl, who we met a month ago, whom we named Aurora.
She was born early in the morning on July 25 after an induction process no dissimilar to her brother’s. We went in thinking we’d have a baby soon, since I was already progressing a lot better than last time, and my body was more in shape for birth. But it still took about 30 hours for labor to get started, and then the epidural didn’t quite work, but thankfully the labor was quick and I only had to push for about 10 minutes 😎
I felt more distant with this pregnancy than with Alex. I think I was worried I wouldn’t love her as much as him, or I would lose my special bond with him. And of course I had so many other things on my mind, like my job, our house renovation, my magazine… So I didn’t know how I’d feel when she was born. When Alex was born I didn’t immediately fall in love with him or even feel super happy. I was tired and scared. It’s too bad that he had to be the first child born to a mother with a lot of anxiety issues. We have such a strong bond now, but those first 4-6 months were just brutal.
With Aurora she was placed on my chest and I felt bliss and relief. She’s been such a happy addition to our family. I mean, I’ve been so exhausted and hardly able to do much except sit on the couch with her sleeping on me, but look at her beautiful little face!
Alex loves his sister but it’s also a complicated dynamic. And he’s been through a lot of changes which we’re doing our best to manage. He’s highly sensitive and feels a lot of feelings. Alan and I are exhausted giving our whole selves to both kids in different ways.
Her middle, Jean, is after both her grandmas who have it as their middle name, but it also shows up in both our families a lot (which I didn’t realize!), including my sister’s middle name. It means “god is gracious” but us not being religious that part is not as important. We were just glad to get a solid family name in there.
Her first name though is significant to me in a lot of ways. I won’t try too hard to explain it, but I have a strong emotional attachment to certain colors and times of day – like say, dusk or dawn. Aurora is a name that stirs up a beautiful warm glow.. Rich pinks and yellows and deep blues. It means ‘Dawn’ and that’s how it feels. I also like that it’s a classical name, like Alexander, and a mythological name. Aurora is the Roman goddess of the dawn, the bringer of a new day. It feels hopeful. For Alan it’s a good science and nature name. It ticks pretty much all the boxes for us. A sweet sunny name for our little summer baby.