The Difficult Morning

The kind of morning where things are going just fine, and you registered for swimming and impulse shopped for hand sanitizer on Amazon. Everything is fine until nap time, where you do everything in the same order; (shade drawn to half mast, white noise is on. Diaper. Sleep sack. Books. Nursing.) the formula is the same every time and usually it works. On this morning it doesn’t work. Do you try a double nursing and hopefully that works. It doesn’t. So you put him down in his crib and maybe he’ll work it out. He’s been getting better at that.  You’ve got your coffee to finish before it gets cold and you still haven’t eaten breakfast (you tend to wait until naptime so you’re not rushed) and you’re exhausted because he’s been waking up 3 times a night for the last week. But now he’s crying. Wailing. Howling. You go and turn him back around and put him on his back and rub his tummy and shush him. You go back to coffee and news. He’s still crying and crying. You put a halt on the breakfast plan and try again to nurse him but it doesn’t work. You’re hot and sweaty and you know it’s only a matter of time before you lose your cool and start screaming. You check his diaper. It’s wet already. Changing it will hopefully calm him down and he will sleep. He does not. You lay him back in his crib and leave the room and are reminded how messy the house is, how messy it keeps getting, and the thought of an endless mess starts to stress you out. You want to hit something so you hit the trash can. You eventually make your breakfast while he’s still crying in bed. You start to think about how nice it must be for mothers who get to drop their baby off at daycare and go to work and not have to have this problem. You eat. At least now you’re fortified to deal with this. You take off his clothes, you sit with him on the couch and open the window and have him play with a book. After all this, he might finally be exhausted enough to pass out. You do the whole naptime routine again. You catch yourself wondering so many times during this if you really want to do all this again? Uh, talk to me in a year. They say the days are long but the years are short. But the difficult morning is the longest of all.

About the Author

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Hi! I'm a graphic designer, photographer and female person. I live in Minneapolis with my husband Alan and our baby son Alexander and baby cat Arya.



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