Hey, Blue Eyes!
Things are ticking along in our household… Alan undertook the GREAT task of building raised beds so I could fulfill my goal of having a garden this year. I’ll dedicate a blog in the future to that, but it’s been pretty cool to get to know how that process works (because I had NO IDEA) and it’ll be a lot of work but it’ll be so rewarding.
Alex remains a happy little boy. And I feel like a broken record while talking about his poor sleep habits. I’m constantly keeping myself in check, telling myself that our problems could be worse and we could have a baby who sleeps like 4 hours a day total and also is low on the height and weight chart and a bunch of other stuff, but like, STOP IT. Your problems are not invalid because they’re different than other peoples’ problems. I still need sleep just like everyone else, and 4-5 hours of sleep every night for 6 months is – not normal or healthy -. Unfortunately, this is just my reality for the foreseeable future, so I might as well cope as best as I can.
Now that Alex can sit up on his own and generally keep himself entertained for at least 20 minutes, I have more little moments during the day where I don’t feel as guilty for just zoning out on the couch, browsing my phone. Sometimes I turn on the TV and -GASP- sometimes I let him watch. Motherhood is exhausting, and on top of judgment from others (whether real or imagined), nothing competes with the judgment we give ourselves, and that sucks. Mothering a baby is one thing, but I think we also need to Mother ourselves.