Black Holes and Resolutions

If there’s one collective opinion I’ve managed to  work out in the last week, it’s that New Year’s Resolutions are super unfashionable. Every year we all say we’re going to turn it around. Stop snacking. Start running. Quit smoking. Etc. The consensus seems to be that it’s all bogus, because we lose our resolve after about 2 weeks.

Yeah, I mean, that’s all probably true. It certainly has happened to me.  However good my intentions were on January 1st, by January 10th, they’ve all but disappeared. “I’ll do it later.” which is ALWAYS an acceptable excuse.  Always.

Starting sometime about two months ago though, I thought “In January, I’m not going to drink any alcohol.” And that sounded like a really exciting prospect. So many mornings I wake up, feeling just terrible. Groggy, dried out, pounding headache. And I would lie there in bed and think “I can’t wait until I don’t feel like this anymore.” It’s easy to forget that desire when it’s midnight and you’re out and everybody’s having a good time. But that voice in my head on those mornings was really trying to be heard. So, for January, I’ve given up drinking.

But drinking’s not really my only problem. I have a thing for sugary pop too. Even if my teeth hurt after downing a 20 oz bottle of Pepsi, or I get acid reflux from guzzling coke — I still go back every time. I can’t fathom a life where a pop isn’t part of an afternoon pick-me-up or just the ticket after a hot lunch. Pop had to go too.

I’m also in pretty terrible physical shape. In a triumph of confidence, I think I look pretty good most of the time. There’s a few things I wouldn’t mind changing, like my chin and my belly, but overall I like my body’s shape. I just want to feel not so… Awful. I’m getting older. My ankles, heals and hips hurt constantly.  So since the weekend I’ve been trying to get some exercise in every day.

One huge problem I’ve always had is my emotional dependence on food. I love love love junk food. I don’t sit and eat a whole bag of chips like I USED to, but I’ve had a pretty DGAF attitude about what I’ve been eating for a while now. Now, diets are dumb. I don’t like diets. I think you just need to learn about food and eat good food that’s good for you. So instead of prescribing to any one eating mantra, I’ve decided to go with something equally as pretentious: “Mindful eating.” I want to make sure I got my veggies, my fruits, my proteins, and my healthy fats. This is what I know works for me.

The goal is not necessarily weight loss, but just a better, more well-rounded state of being. It sucks feeling like you can’t walk straight because your body is weighing you down, or you have to suck in your breath to tie your shoes? Gaahhhhhhd.

I’ve been following this routine now for I guess 6 days, and I FEEL AWESOME.

I wake up at 8-8:30. I start making coffee. I make a smoothie, and maybe some eggs, and maybe I do a little jog. Then I get ready for work! A perfect morning routine that I have DREAMED about for years. Rising with the sun and facing the day and feeling clearheaded and full of energy. Why didn’t I do this sooner?

I really love the idea of January being a giant “reset” button on your habits. Look at the last year and think “What would’ve made me happier? Drinking 4 nights out of the week and feeling like shit, or getting good rest and facing every day like a fucking champ?”

I want to face that day!

About the Author

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Hi! I'm a graphic designer, photographer and female person. I live in Minneapolis with my husband Alan and our baby son Alexander and baby cat Arya.

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